You can’t force yourself onto people.

One of my stepchildren is pregnant. It’s a lovely, beautiful and wonderful time, and if you know our family, you know we love children. My husband comes from a family of seven children, and if we could have another child, that would be the most miraculous thing. But after the cancer and the surgery, my body is different, and it can’t really accommodate pregnancy any longer.

That was the last throwaway comment my surgeon said to me at our appointment before my major surgery: “Are you finished growing your family?” What? Surprise, surprise, that was news to me. But surgeons are surgeons, and though he could use some work with his bedside manner, he is the head of the department and an amazing surgeon.

That’s beside the point. So, one of my stepchildren is pregnant, and I’ve got thoughts and desires, and want to be of help. Is someone doing a baby shower? I would love to help look after the baby, or even the other child. I’d love to fill their pantry and store cupboard with stuff from Costco, or make ready-made freezer meals. I’m already thinking of what kind of food to make when I go visit. My mind is way ahead of everything else.

But I’m just a stepmother. And not one of my stepchildren would dare even call me that. I have to remember that I can’t force myself onto people. Even with the best intentions, sometimes I just need to take a step back.

Thank you, Lord, for showing us it is good to do good things. Guide me in your perfect timing and help me to know when I should take a step back.

Photo by Leah Newhouse